High School & Update

  High school... It's here... Has been for 3.5 months. It's amazing, I'll tell you that. At the end of last school year, I thought I was going to miss all of my friends that were gonna go to different high schools, but I only miss like, 4. That's sad to say, but it's true. I love my school, and now I'm talking to a wonderful Sophomore who's SO cute, but unfortunately, has a girlfriend :/ It's alright though, because they're adorable <3 I found out a new thing about my best guy friend, & honestly, he thought I would hate him, but in reality, I find the secret amazing & brave(: I won't say it on here because he trusted me, but I thought I would address it.
   My boyfriend of a year & 1 month & I broke up on 9/15/13... At first, I wasn't that upset since we stopped hanging out because of dance team. But after like 3 weeks, I cried every night. I still miss him SO much, but now he hangs with my ex-bff that I wrote about 2 entries ago... He also might start dating this girl soon... I miss him so much. Like, he was my everything. He was my cuddle buddy when I needed someone. He was the one I went to if I needed a laugh, if I needed someone to talk to. He made life better. I remember when I went to his house for a movie, & he was standing up, turning the movie on. I had this urge that I wanted to hug him & kiss him & tell him how much he meant to me. So, I went & hugged HIM from behind & I told him I loved him because at the time, I thought I did. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him & our memories... I wish he read this, because he thought I didn't care. He thought I didn't want to be with him, when really, I was busy with dance team. I guess he was the one thing I had to take out of my busy life. I wish he wasn't.
  Dance team went well this season. I performed at 3 football games, & the friends I made because of the team, are amazing(: I love them so much.
  I guess you could say that I am having a good-ish year. LOL. Alright, nice writing to ya'll(:

You're Creative.

  I hear, from down Santa Clause lane, that my ultimate ENEMY made a new nickname for me. I've never said my name on here, but here we go. KUNTzer. Screw you, bitch. She is a total lame ass who doesn't have a life OF HER OWN. Her life revolves around me. Most of the time, her name/her existance doesn't even cross my blonde mind, okay? She needs to get it through her thick skull, that idgaf anymore. I haven't for 2 years. But, I told my friend (who found out) that this chick is very creative. Very. Creative. In fact, she's so creative, I could shove glitter up her tight asshole, and she wouldn't even know. Like Ke$ha. But uglier. Everytime I talk about her, I seem like a really rude/mean/stupid person. All I'm doing, is venting my feelings because typing is a hell of a lot faster than writing in my diary. YES, I have a diary. Get over yourselves.
  SOOOOO, she can go screw her own butthole. Ighhttt, so that's the end. I guess? So, yea that's what I heard today. I hope whoever reads this, laughed a bit. I will later on in the week, prob... PENETRATION. K bye.

I Miss You...

  I'm crying. I miss you like hell. Why can't we be friends? In my last post, I said goodbye. But I REALLY don't want to... I made a Vine about it, if you wanna see it (you know who you are). I thought she threw away the notes. I thought she stopped caring. I can't stop crying. Idk what else to say. Everytime I think of my bestfriend being not THERE, I choke up and cry until I can't breathe. Who knew someone could do that to you? Especially someone you only new for 2 years... They take over your heart completely (boy and girl) and you can't wait to hangout with them ALL. DE. TIME. But now... you can't. Ugh. If you're reading this, I miss you so much, girl. Our friendship meant so much to me, and it's pretty much shattered at this point. I wanna pick up the pieces. So bad. I'm crying as I type this, legit. My boyfriend is trying to make me "blush", but he doesn't know I'm crying so it seems REALLY stupid, haha! Hopefully that made you laugh.
 All I'm trying to say, is, I miss you so much. I want to be able to call you up and ask if you want to walk around ANYWHERE to talk about absolutely ANYTHING. The last time we hungout, was when we saw that alien movie with the 2 hot guys. We just talked about the movie because everything was awkward between us. Then, we stopped talking all together. I can't take it. I miss you. I've said it AT LEAST a thousand times, and I'll say a thousand more. I miss you, girl.

Goodbye Friend.

  Do you know what it's like, to know you've lost your bestfriend. Asking who their bestfriend is on an anonymous site, and them saying its not you. It's hard... The person you did so much with, is gone. Going to a different high school in two months, so now it doesn't matter. Why should I try? All the memories are forgotten. The notes I wrote to her, are probably stored in her closet or thrown away... I wouldn't blame her, because we don't talk. The last time we did, I wanted to hangout with her. She didn't answer... She wanted to kill herself in April, we stopped talking in around March, so I didn't know. She dumped her bf because she thought it would be easier FOR HIM, if she died while they were just friends. I kinda thought about not wanting to exist. BUT, I didn't want to kill myself. I asked to be friends again, because almost everyone left me. She told me. Why hadn't I noticed? That's right, because she pushed me away, for some reason. Idk what to do. I guess, just leave my old BFF with my enemy... Yep, she went to the dark side. Whatever. I can't do anything anymore. Goodbye Friend.

What Is Love?

  Last night I sort of had a "fight" with my boyfriend... So here's how it went down!
Him: "I'm going to sleep, I just want this day to be over. Goodnight, wuvv you"
Me: "Okay... Goodnight"
Him: "Okay, seriously what's wrong?"
Me: "What?!"
  Then he went on saying that I don't try in the relationship and whenever he tried to be cute, I don't acknowledge it/care. Wtf?! Then he asked if I liked someone else, and that's why I was acting different. UMM, NO! Ugh, I cried a little because I thought he was gonna break up with me... I know that sounds kinda stupid, I thought so AFTER the fact. I told my friend, imthesis, and she tried to help me (thanks btw :]) He then asked if I was even happy with him. Where the hell is this coming from? All that happened for like 1 hour, and then he's like, "I'm just be a fricking retard. Can we forget this and be happy together?" I didn't want to just FORGET that he just thought I didn't want to be with him. I wanted to work it out, and he said alright but we should move on. I then just said I had to go to bed since it was 11:20pm on a SCHOOL NIGHT.
  The whole night was a bust. He says he loves me, but idk what love is supposed to feel like, but I just say it back... Don't tell him, shhh! Can anyone comment saying that they KNOW what it feels like? Because I have no idea. Is it bad to tell him I do then? I'm just scared that we're gonna breakup... THENNN, in Reading, he was acting all mad when Kelsie was talking shit about Stephen's girlfriend. Like, why the hell do you like Yvette now? He looked PIIIISSSEEDDD. And then he said, "You're just gonna let them talk about your gf like that?" Like, I WAS DEFENDING HIS GF. Kelsie was the one talking shit. Don't act like I hate her.
  He's also acting realllyyy clingy. BACK. THE. HELL. UP. PLEASE. Yea yea, he really likes me. I KNOW. Just gimme some space, brah.
   Love Always,
Just Another Girl </3

April Fools Day(:

  Hey guys(: HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! I haven't posted since Wednesday, I think. I had a very nice Spring Break. A bunch of girls started drama, I'm over it. Haha! Then, I found my enemy's Instagram (: Tomorrow is school... I'm not excited to wake up at 5:35 in the morning, but I don't really care about the assignments. I only have until May 30th until I graduate. NOT HIGH SCHOOL. I'm graduating middle school, lol. Tricked you, didn't I?
  Today is mine and Ben's (now you know my boyfriend's name) 7 month(: YES, I just wrote his name in here. BIG WHOOP. Now some of you probably know who I am... hahaha :P We have been together for 7 months, wow... People say middle school relationships dont count, but I think mine does. We walked around my neighborhood for 2 hours, holding hands and laughing. Talking about pointless shit. It was amazing (: He makes me so happy! This girl posted on Facebook today, that it's worthless to have a relationship in middle school. Because of fighting. Not EVERYONE'S relationship is full of fighting. And then she's saying that her family is only there for you. Yea, they are. But some guy can make you really happy...
  I saw "The Host" with my friend, Just Your Average Girl. We walked in, being all quiet, and then saw that NO ONE was in the theater. So, we talked as loud as we wanted and laughed or said "aww" to certain parts. Then at the end, "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons played, and we had a Twerk Team and dance party. WHOOP WHOOP ;)
  My YouTube channel is finally kicking up! I get 3-4 subscribers a day now (: Right now I have 128. This morning I had a 122! And now I message some of my fans! But, I won't write my YouTube channel name in here because then you will know who I am. But some guy is being a douche so yea...
  This week as been awesome and I can't wait to see all of my school friends (; Talk to you guys later!
   Love Always,
Just Another Girl <3
 

More & More Drama For Me.

  I went to a Barmitzvah last Saturday, right? And only 5 out of the 45 people talked to me the whole time we were there. It was ridiculous. All of my enemy's minions gave me dirty looks, but eff them! I gave them right back. One of my friends told me that when I left, my enemy asked, "Where's the girl with the ratchet* hair? BAHAHA!" My hair was in a braid and my hair had hair bows in it too. So, hopefully I can put a pic in to show you. (PIC DOWN BELOW) But, that bitch called my hair ratchet. UMMM, NO. I then posted a status on Facebook saying, "I've got ratchet hair? Honey, you shouldn't be talking." and people commented saying I didn't and I was like, SHOOSH YEA I DON'T. TWO days later, "her" minion comments saying she hopes it isn't about my enemy and her mother because they are both very nice people. Bullshit... So I comment saying I didn't write names, I don't know who said it, ya-da ya-da ya-da. My mom intervenes saying that she doesn't know what, who shall not be named, is capable of. Frickin tard. THIS GIRL NEEDS TO SHUT HER TRAP, I SWEAR. She needs Jesus!!!
   All in all, this bitch is trying to start MORE problems, saying it's "scouts honor" that my enemy didn't say anything when I have FOUR SOURCES. Three people tell me it's (girl named with an "S") and my enemy (girl named with a "B"). Okay? Now, I know who said it so don't act like it's not them. Stfu. I am just done with these people. Once they die, all Hell turns cold. GAHH, I just want them to leave me alone. I did NOTHING to her. Why does she stalk my Facebook at sleepovers with her "besties for now" and why does she constantly start rumors about me when I don't even talk to her? WHY WHY WHY? Is all I have to ask myself. I don't deserve this. While she tries to bring me down, that means I'm above her. She is the one stooping to her own damn level. Her and her WHOLE damn family need help. They are COO-KOO. Ugh, I need them to leave me alone. IF there is evil in your life, don't be afraid to walk away. Let them ruin everything for themselves. Their family has gone through more friends than you can count on TWO hands. What is wrong with them? The world may never know...
      *Ratchet- dirty, stinky, nasty, gross, disgusting
      ~Ex: "Shaniqua has a ratchet weave. YUCK!"~
   Love Always,
Just Another Girl <3

                            That is my hair that I wore to the Barmitzvah! Isn't it just ratchet (;

  So my bestfriend, (no name given), was supposed to come to the mall with me in like an hour with 3 other girls. She said "yes" and then cancelled about an hour ago... She said that she already made plans with out friend Adam. FO'real. You choose A GUY over your bestfriend? Alright... And now she doesn't want to pick sides so she's not going with either one of us. GREAT.
  But on the bright side, I'm going wit Vinitha, Georgeanne, and Katie :) My bff Mikaela is driving to Mall of America so I miss her -tear- ANYWAYS, I wanted it to be a "ladies day" but she wanted 2 of our guy friends to come. Like, no. I mean, I wish she could've come with but whatever. I'll still have fun with my other friends, right?
  This entry isn't that long, but I wanted to tell you how my day is/gonna be and what happened. OH, and I had the worst Friday night AND Saturday day. On Friday night, I went to someone's house with Mikaela, Vinitha, and Jordan. NO ONE talked to us. That's why we left early... They played "Spin The Bottle" and that's not how I roll. I gotta bf. THEN, yesterday I went to Cole's barmitzvah and no one talked to me except 5 people outta 40. And my bully, the evil devil, and her minions were there too so that's why only 5 people talked to me. I wanted to leave. I hate them. Ugh, it was terrible. I needed to punch a hoe.
  Today will hopefully be better. It's pretty good right now. #snapchatting It's this picture app where you send pics up to 10 seconds and then it disappears. Pretty cool. I'm ADDICTED. Someone get me an intervention :/ Okay, this has been long enough hahaha! 
    Love Always,
Just Another Girl <3

TODAY (:

  Today I was streching my splits for like one and half hours, teehee(: I figured out that if you read a book or watch tv while stretching, you don't think about the pain too much. So, I'M REALLY CLOSE! (huge applause) Yea no. On March 31st, it is me and my boyfriend's 7 month <3 OMG I'M SO EXCITED! I've only been single 10 days out of this school year... Dat shit cray. Excuse my French. Why do people say that? OBVIOUSLY you're speaking in English! Ugh, Norton wants go restart my laptop... Can't it tell that I'm writing my life story? HELLOOOOO TOSHIBA.
  This post is kind of all over the place. Well, I gotta make plans for Spring Break because it's next week #hellyeah And my boyfriend wants to hangout with me at least 2-3 times BUT I'M ONLY OFF 9 DAYS, gahhh! I just got a text from him:
Me: "Wanna hangout this Sunday then Thursday?"
Him: "That's a week from today, but alright I'm gonna miss you like HELL."
  Aww shucks(: So today I had a little quarrel with him. We talked on the phone for 20 mins because I've been getting this TINY, ITTY BITTY feeling that he's starting to like this other girl... I texted him saying it's okay if he liked someone, I just wanted him to tell me. He called and said they're just friends and he doesn't like anyone but me. I thought that was cute, but I still kind of have that feeling... I OVERTHINK TOO MUCH.
  I bought "Perks of Being a Wallflower" 4 days ago, and just finished it last night. Whoa. It changed my life, I swear. I almost cried at the end... Now I'm reading "Peter & The Sword of Mercy". It's 515 pages long(: I love books like that. I'm only on page 5 doe... I'm also stressed out with school. Let me tell you my grades.
Intro Algebra: C+
Science: A
Spanish: A
Honors L.A: A-
Honors Reading: A
P.E: A
S.S: U
 My math teacher didn't upgrade the grades yet, because I gave him corrections. And I retook a test in Social Studies, so she didn't count that. Whatever. So once they update them, I'll have all A's and B's. WOO HOO! This entry is so damn long... Alright well I'm gonna go to bed since it's 10:15pm on a school night.
   Love Always,
Just Another Girl <3

Sorry For Being Me...

I want to leave. I want to get out of here. Why does life have to be so hard? I try to be the best I can be, yet you put me down. I cry almost every night, and I know you do a lot for me but you're making me miserable some days. YES, I will try and make the high school poms team. YES, I WILL eventually get my splits. No, I'm not clinically depressed. No, I'm not suicidal. But some days I feel depressed and sad. And some days, I don't want to be on Earth anymore. Nobody knows. Nobody knows all of the harsh things I go through. Yes, people have it worse than me. Yes, I understand that. One of my friends used to cut and tried to commit suicide. She has had a worse childhood. You do everything for me, and I'm grateful. But you make me depressed because of your constant yelling and threatening to leave. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being me. I'm sorry for what I've done wrong. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry for doing enough. I'm just sorry! Okay?
Some days I want to go home and sleep so I can't think of being depressed. I don't need medication, no. No, I'm not insane. I don't cut. I don't try to commit suicide. I don't post sad statuses on Facebook. I don't think of a way to kill myself. I don't do those things. Things just get so stressful, and sometimes I don't want to deal with it, so I lock myself in my room. You don't know how hard it is. Yes, I know people have it WAY worse than me. Don't tell me, I know. I'm not perfect. I'm not the right person. I don't always make the right decisions. I apologize for being me.

Love Always,
Just Another Girl

My Little Insecurties...

 Ugh, for SO LONG I've been insecure about my body... Sure, my friends say how they're fat and I'm skinny, but that's not the case. I'm not gonna go into detail because NOT JUST GIRLS read my blog. I guess all I want is to be skinny. I go to the gym every Tuesday, and then I have dance Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. So I work out during almost the whole week! I still have this bump on my stomach and I  HATE IT! No, I'm not anorexic, and I don't plan on becoming belimic (idk if I spelled that right). Also, I'm not... average as you would say. I'm "developed up top" yet and I'm absolutely upset about it. I'm a teenager. I should be developed. All of my friends are and it kills me. No, looks aren't everything, but I get bullied for it. I'm crying as I write this because people say "I'm not good enough" or they make fun of me because it. My parents say I'm a late bloomer, but I feel discluded from most girl-talk conversations. This is such a hard topic for me to touch on, but I thought I would share it with you. No, I don't base everything on my looks, but I feel left behind. Why can't I be like the other girls? (skinny, busty, etc.) Why can't I be average? I have only 1 friend that has it just like me, yet she's skinny. Why can't I be normal....?

   P.S. Sorry if you got annoyed by this entry, I don't really care. So, read it if you want.

Love Always,
Just Another Girl </3

Update

 Here's a little update of what happened. Yesterday we SUPPOSED to be called into the office to "talk" about things, but the principal didn't call us down. #Victory! I think since I confronted her, she stopped her crap real quick.UGHHH, I just want to leave my school for a week... I want to fly away like a bird, away from this drama, and be free... I want to sleepover at a friends house over an entire weekend, and go to the city. I just want to leave my school for a WEEK! She is terrible. I DESPISE her. I hate her with a burning passion... The thing I'm mad about, is that.. I was nice to her! I was her friend when no one else was... Even though she was with/liked many guys, I still was her friend. But I KNEW she was a bad seed.
  The other girl involved has been my friend since April 2012. I trusted her. I was her friend when she felt insecure. I encouraged her, and complimented her when she felt TERRIBLE about herself. Then, on 12-26-12, the girl I hate and my "friend" had a sleepover. They texted my bf all this crap about me, trying to break us up... I found out, and now of course I hate her. I TRUSTED HER!!! And she went behind my back with this girl I absolutely can't stand! Now she still wants to be friends, but I'm like, no. I can't become friends with someone like that. Do you think I should? I don't know... I guess I just need to get by three more days of this...
Love,
Just Another Girl </3

Drama...

  For all of my viewers out there, middle school is not as cracked up as people say... Jealous girls are gonna start shit about you and you have to push through it. Today, I confronted the girl doing stuff to me and now the school is involved. GREAT, right? I confronted her calmly and nicely, but she got all defensive and denied EVERYTHING. Well, I told my mom and then she got an email. Her mom totally bitched my mom out, and I wanted to go punch the girl and HER in the face when I read it! This is NOT MY FAULT! I wanted to cry, but my mom said to stand my ground... Sometimes I don't want to go to school. I know I have the least kind of bullying going on, but it still hurts. I'm NOT suicidal and I'm NOT crazy, but sometimes I just want to leave Earth... I'm crying as I write this because NO ONE can help me ): The principal can't do anything, and he's gonna take HER side!! When I had trouble with another girl, he didn't choose sides. But tomorrow I might get called into the office... My friend said that to relieve the stress, listen to music. THAT doesn't help me. Her house is just a few streets down, and I wanna go yell at her & tell her to leave me the eff alone! ~sighs~ I need someone to help me. Sure, I have my bestest friends. You know that movie "Freaky Friday"? Well, I wish my mom could be in my shoes in a day, and get everything done with. She's more "out there" when it comes to this kind of thing. I'm too nice... Why? All I have to ask, is Why?...
Love,
Just Another Girl </3